As a mother of a daughter

It's Wednesday. Time to Pour My Heart Out. If you've never been over to Shell's place today is the perfect day to go. It's so pretty and fresh over there. She's got a new look -- but peeps are still pouring their hearts out aplenty!

And I've been thinking about this post for a few days on and off. And now I'm here and I am trying to figure out what to say next. Oy.

So, if you read me regularly, I have been posting health and wellness updates on Sundays. I'm trying to make myself a healthier me. More fit. More aware. More alive.

And I love it. I do. I went through a "sad" week when on Sunday the scale didn't move, but I do try to feel that the scale doesn't matter that much.

And yet sometimes, well, it just DOES.

I'm OK, I promise. I will still keep at it. I'm still working out. Paying attention to my intake. But where does one draw the line?

The other night we went to Applebee's for dinner. Now, yes, they do have loads of WW meals there that convert to points. Of course, I don't like any of them. Shrimp? Never. Lime chicken? No thanks, not a fan. Whatever else wasn't what I wanted and I honestly wanted a SALAD. Of course, salads are good for you when there isn't fried stuff on them and not pound upon pound of dressing. So I ordered one with dressing on the side and it showed up ON the plate. O'course. I sent it back. No problems.

But here's the thing. The way I picked my dinner was by looking at my phone and my LoseIt app. Is that normal? Is that the way to go and choose your meal? My husband was going to toss the phone and never give it back.

I went to dinner with a friend last night at Panera, and she pointed out that the menu on the wall had the calorie info. Excellent. I didn't have to stare at my phone for 15-20 minutes to figure out what to eat!

But - you know - I try to eat healthy and yet there are things I like to eat. So what's a girl to do?

On top of all of that, what sort of example do I want to set for my child? I want to eat healthy, I want to teach her to do so, but sometimes she just wants chicken fingers and fries. And you know what? She ended up eating 2 mozzarella sticks and that was her dinner. Is that OK? It should be - right? She's only FOUR.

I don't want to stress my emotional eating or thoughts about weight onto my daughter. I don't want that to be a part of her life, but as a young girl it's sure to turn into that for her no matter how hard I try. Sigh. That sucks, doesn't it?

Anyway - I'll work to get myself on track. Teach her the fun of working out - which she is honestly already learning - and hope she sticks to my good and healthy habits and avoids the trap and catch-all of the non-healthy ones.

SO why is it that I feel teary-eyed as I write this? Now that - THAT sucks.

Oops. I somehow hit a double enter and published too soon. But that's alright. I was pretty much done. I guess I wanted to sign off. Wish you well in your journeys and ask you to wish me well on mine. And empower your daughters. Your sisters. Your women-friends. Show them that there is so much more to them than what the eye sees. They're amazing. Incredible. Beautiful and STRONG.

A-to-the-WO-MEN! (No religious beliefs are required to make that statement!)

The ship that never sails away...

F is for the Fun we have together.

It seems that no matter how far apart we are, or how infrequently we speak, we have so much fun when we're together. So much laughter, so much emotion, and so much love.

R is for the REAL friendship we have.

Reality sets in and our lives keep us busy. But we're still close. We're still true to one another, to the years we've shared and the many we will see together as we grow old.

I is for the Intimate moments.

You're the friend who has seen me at my worst. Seen the tears streaming down my face. Seen me at a loss, of love, relationships, friendships, family members. You're the friend who knows me better than most. And for that I'm forever grateful.

E is for Everything we've been through.

How much more can we experience together? We're grown women now, mothers with children. And there is so much more we go through and it isn't always together. But we've spent many a phone call just sorting through our lives and knowing we've been through so much, and will always be around to face the future together.

N is for Never.

As in I never want to lose what we have. Ever.

D is for Dedication.

That's how I feel. Dedicated to our relationship with hopes it will stay strong, never play those foolish games and never turn to a point that we lose sight of who we actually are.

It's Sunday - you know what that means!

It's time for me to check in again.

I haven't weighed myself yet (writing this on Saturday night to get myself a head start). I am waiting for the Papa John's delivery guy to arrive. Did you know that 1 slice of Papa John's pizza thin crust is 230 calories? And if you go with the regular crust it's 290? That's for a large pizza - of course. I guess I'm pretty glad I like me some thin crust. Yum. I also add tomatoes and extra sauce to pump myself with lots of good antioxidants or whatever else I can benefit from. Helps me feel less crappy for indulging in fast and not-homemade foods.

So, this week I did a few workouts, a few random walks, and a few random other things, too:

Monday: I did some stretching in AM with my new resistance bands, which I sadly have not really used since then. Whoops. And then I did a 1 mile WATP workout.

Tuesday: C25K walk/run (Week 1); 10 mins Denise Austin cardio (which totally reminded me why I gave up on Denise Austin many moons ago. She's annoying as all heck!)

Wednesday: I skipped working out.



Thursday: Did a 20 minute walk/cardio while watching TV. I had great intentions and had recorded two new workout shows. 1/2 hr each. High hopes. And then I played the first one and it was some chick who was instructing some big and buff workout dude on push-ups. Nay. No thank you. Then I started the other one, kept watching even though she spoke about weights and I didn't have any. BUT when she started getting into talking about the soul and stuff, well, sorry. I had to turn it off. I have my own religious beliefs, but start quoting psalms at me while I'm trying to stay motivated on the road to fitness and we have to part ways. Seriously. Negative.

On Friday it was BEAUTIFUL out. So nice. Kiddo and I were outside for like an hour, so I counted that as an "average" 30 minute walk. Most of the time she was on her scooter and I was walking behind or beside her, so that was nice. Plus the fresh air and sunshine totally rocked.

Then today (Sat) I got outside early and did a C25K walk/run (Week 1). I am figuring on starting Week 2 officially next week. I think about 2-3 or so weeks of Week 1 is enough, don't you? Or at least I sure as heck hope so!



And if you don't follow me on Twitter (and why don't you - I must ask?) then you don't know that Bella are my Skele-Toes. She ate the straps off them last night and I am so saddened that this happened, BUT I am trying to stay positive and just stick to my sneakers. But if anyone knows a honcho over at Fila or any sports shoe store - lemme know. I would love another pair. Or love to try Vibrams. I'll sell myself for a pair. I'll even do a beautiful review and everything. Of course I had FINALLY done the C25K in them and they were faring well. Sigh. C'est la vie, right?

What's been up with all of you? How's January treated you so far? Any motivational resolutions for the coming month? Can you believe we're already this far into 2012?

** As always images obtained on Pinterest. Motivation is at your fingertips when you're there. Come join me!**

Folly Beach ~ Book Review

My first introduction to Folly Beach was some time ago when I read a book with a similar name. So when I saw that there was a story by Dorothea Benton Frank about the loveable place - I had to check it out.

If I am being honest (which I always am, I hope you know!) it really took me some time to get into the story. The initial scenes from the play were nearly impossible to understand. Not so much the writing, but the purpose. Why was I jumping back and forth between a character like Cate to a woman who came up out of her grave? Was this a dream? Where WAS I? Where had Ms. Frank actually planned on taking us?

It really took me a while to get through this book because of this initial stuff. Once I passed some of it and made the connection, things started to come together. The story started to fly by.

Let me tell you more - and - as always - I'll take care not to give too much away!

Cate is the primary character of the novel, and we meet her after her horrific husband has committed suicide over her beloved piano. We find out what a swindler he was, how much he has taken from her and her family, and what little remains for her to move forward with.

But Cate has a favorite Aunt Daisy who lives on Folly Beach with her lovely Ella and is more than ready to welcome in her niece with open arms. We follow Cate home to Folly - the place she grew up - and join her on her journey to finding herself. I can't even say again, as it seems like she never truly found herself in her marriage. She is a mom, and loves her children (grown - one about to have a child of his own), but isn't true enough to herself to feel real.

The fold in of the story of Dorothy and Dubose is an interesting one. As I mentioned, it doesn't take hold of you as a reader until the stories twine together. Ms. Frank did a great job at culminating in a point where the connection made sense. For a while I felt strung along - confused - but then I recognized that as it came clear for Cate, it came clear for us, as well.

Overall I would say I enjoyed the book. Enough to make me comfortable picking up another of her stories, but not necessarily enough to seek out her next novel. Not until I know more about it, anyway.

Thanks to TLC Tours for a copy of this book to facilitate my review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. I was not compensated for posting this review in any way.

Matt and Em ...

This story picks up somewhere in the middle for Matt and Em. The rest of their story is here, which includes some flashbacks. Write on Edge said to work on something that needed polishing, and for me it was this transition. I have been putting this post on the back-burner. Avoiding these two characters for too long. So here they are. I hope you enjoy. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks.

His hand felt cold and clammy on mine. We sat there - silently - in the car.

He didn't start her up. He didn't buckle in. Nothing.

"Matt?" A few blinks before he faced me. "You okay?" He smiled. That sheepish grin I knew so well.

"We're having a baby."

"Yes, well ..."

"We're HAVING a baby!"

"I know. I was there."

"Holy crap, Em. You're pregnant." His hand tightened around mine.

I fought the urge to flee. I couldn't, of course. Wouldn't. But I wanted to. "Matt, listen," I stopped. Were those tears? What the - TEARS? Was he crying? He used his sleeve to wipe his face. Shit. He was crying.

"I just can't believe it, Em. After everything we've been through - a baby. We're hav-"

"Yes. I know. I know. Actually, I'M the one who is..." I watched his face cloud over and tried doing damage control. "Well, you know. It's in here." I looked down at my stomach. MY stomach. Traitor! I flinched at my own thoughts.

"Em, it's amazing. Aren't you happy? Isn't this amazing? We have so much to do. A baby. Wow. A baby." He continued on. Talking quickly but softly, his words a jumble.

"We should get going." I interrupted.

"Em?"

"I'd like to go home now, if we could. Get moving." I plastered on a smile, but I knew he knew.

"You're not happy?"

"Matt, this is a LOT to think about. I just need ... It's a surprise, ya know? I mean, we didn't plan - I didn't think - we weren't expecting." Sigh. How the hell do I say this anyway? "I just need some time."

"You what?"

"Time. I need some time to think." I reached for his arm as he turned to buckle himself in. He nodded. Stiffened beneath my touch.

"Think," he whispered. Was that a question or an understanding?

"Yeah - I just, if you could drop me off at home I'm just really exhausted and I -"

"That's fine, Em. Fine." His words trailed off as he leaned forward and started the engine. Puffs of smoke drifted up around us and our windows began to fog. I sat still, too frozen in fear and emotion to reach for the heat. "Let's get you home."


p.s. Stay tuned. I have the next part of their story already written in response to a WOE prompt from December. I never posted it as I wasn't sure it was ready. It's kind of empty, but I think it sort of fits for Em and where she is at this point. I'll share it soon ...

Let Me Potty in Peace!

Seriously. First off - you know I have a young-ish child since I'm using the word potty. Or should I say still using it? Either way, you get me - yes?

She'll be 5 next month.

I try to say "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" but it almost always turns into, "Do you have to go potty?" I don't know why that is - it just IS.

So here I am, this morning, wishing for a few minutes to myself while struggling with the fact that she woke up before nine ... and yes, call me lucky, think whatever you'd like of me, but the kid doesn't go to bed til after ten. And that would be early.

It stinks.

Please don't lecture me on stricter bedtimes, a tighter schedule, so on and so forth. We've tried. Them all. She's a night owl like her mother. Can't seem to stop talking or shut her brain off to get to sleep. Everyone says that will change when she goes to school, but me? I'm not so sure. She's too much like me for me to believe that so when the time comes I'm just going to have to will it to happen. That oughta work, right?

Back to the potty. You know you want to go back there. Sigh. I wish I could. Maybe I'd have a few minutes of quiet time and/or privacy. Without a child talking to me, cracking open the door or causing mayhem right outside of it (that would be what happened this morning). It's enough that when she IS asleep I have to shut the dogs outside as our puppy tends to stick her nose in as if to say - hey, what's going on here and why can't I be a part of it?

Seriously, dog? I know the way you make friends is to sniff other doggie butts and pee and poop and all. But mine? Off limits.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yes. Privacy on the potty. Does it ever happen again? To those with older children, do you ever have that ten minutes? Five? The ability to stretch it out and actually read a chapter or two? Oh, come on. If you're a mom or dad you likely know what it's like to try to escape behind the door with the current book or magazine and hopes you'll actually get through some of it, right?

Sigh.

Dreaming of potty time. It's not just for kids (or parents dreaming that their kids will finally get to the potty and drop the diapers, saving them money on seemingly useless and non-bio-degradable landfill directed products) anymore.

Who doesn't love cozy slippers?

I received an email recently from LoveSac offering me an opportunity to review their cozy slippers. Normally I'd think over an offer (I did), check out their website (I did), and their other products (did that, too!). Then I'd think about it a bit. (I did that, as well.)

Then I usually think some more. But I'll be honest. These slippers looked so cozy, I couldn't help but say yes.

LoveSac is an alternative furniture company with lots of cool stuff on their website. From couches to beanbag-like chairs (the original LoveSac), to blankets and slippers - their goal is to create things that bring you comfort.

So, back to the slippers.

First of all - look at how pretty they were packaged:


I thought of it as a beautiful present just for me. And then I tried them on. Cozy beyond words. I'm all about pampering my feet, and they're so comfortable I couldn't be happier. I will admit to sweating in them a little bit. Not so much a negative, but after a while I had to take them off to let my toes breathe. Sorry. I'm not a foot fan, so believe me, talking about them is no picnic. I'm just trying to be honest in my review. Could be that I just wasn't used to having my feet closed up this way. But the plushness of the insoles of these slippers was well worth the test run. I am keeping them hidden so the dogs don't turn them into chew toys and so the cats don't - well - let's just say take them for themselves, alright?



And if you couldn't guess by the picture below - even my daughter loved them and had to give them a try. But now they're all mine!


Take a look here for complete details on these cozy comforts. Regularly priced at $59, they appear to be on sale for $39 right now. And they come in a really cute green. And while true that I'd probably have fared better with the darker color as I'm afraid of these picking up the fur that sneaks away from my broom. - it's okay because they're COZY!

So if you're interested check them out. And the comfy pillows and other items they have on their site. While it might not be something you'd spend on for yourself, I'm sure there is someone you love whose feet you'd love to pamper. So check them out as a great gift option for your mom, dad, grandparent or significant other. And if you're so inclined, get a pair for you. You'll be glad you did!

** I received a pair of these slippers from LoveSac to facilitate this review. All expressed opinions are strictly my own. **