I'm not ready.

Little Black Dress ~ Book Review

I recently received a copy of Little Black Dress to review, at my request. It sounded like a cute story, and did not disappoint. It was really bizarre how the dress melded itself and worked some sort of magic, all of which I can't really tell you about for the sake of saving some mystery for you if you should choose to read this story.

For me the primary character of this book was Evie. For it is Evie we meet first. Who we start to know, even through her daughter's eyes. I loved how Ms. McBride switched viewpoints as we turned each page, allowing us to learn the family history as we got to know each woman in this story.

And while we really only *hear* from Evie and her daughter Toni, there is a third woman who is a huge presence in the book. Evie's sister, Anna. Anna plays an important part in the story, as she is the first person to own and wear the dress.

This dress struck me as magical beyond the powers of the jeans in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books, and that's likely because it was more so. McBride mentions in her interview at the end of the book that the dress was inspired by the pants, and I love that about her! Those books were some of my favorites as they came out, and the relationships surrounding a pair of pants show how important the LBD is in this story.

There is so much we don't know, and we continue to turn page after page to find out. I will confess to finding bits and pieces of this to be predictable, but perhaps that is the under-developed writer in me who thinks, oh, I would totally take this in THAT direction.

I found it interesting that, we, as readers resolve our questions with Evie and Anna, but Toni does not necessarily know as much as we do as we move along. That's the benefit of being inside each character's head, I suppose.

I enjoyed this quick and easy read. It was light enough to enjoy quickly, not distressing enough to keep me up all night (which is a good thing sometimes, believe me!) and mysterious enough to leave me wanting just a little bit more.

** I was not compensated for posting my thoughts on this book, but I was given a free copy to facilitate my review. **

You Know You're a Mom When ...

I haven't done one of these in a while, and as I sit here and it's nearly midnight, I think it's long overdue.

You know you're a mom when ...

... You can practically recite the words to entire episodes of Good Luck, Charlie.

... You can't fall asleep at night because the theme song to Shake It Up is rattling around your brain. Sh-sh-sh shake it up!

... You find yourself making Ovaltine "chocolate milk" at request several times a day.

... You've been summoned to play hide and seek for the fourth time in the past hour.

... The little person you are seeking has no problem using the same hiding place multiple times. In a ROW.

... She also TELLS you where she is hiding, so you have to pretend you don't know just so the game runs a bit longer and you get to go pee in peace! Seriously - don't tell me you haven't done it, too!

... You've watched the Phineas & Ferb movie about 15x in the past two weeks.

... And the crazy show Wipeout at least a dozen. In the last week. As in ONE week. Help me!

... You find yourself stepping on things that stick to your feet - like stickers, little bits of construction paper and f*cking Legos!

... Your couch has turned into a toy box.

... You find yourself asking if she wants to eat breakfast at the big table, or the little table. Which also means in front of the TV.

... Baking things can be fun and somewhat cathartic, except when little hands and bodies get in your way or under your feet. And then you lose it. Your mind. Your patience. And your sanity. Assuming you had any of that left to begin with.

... You wouldn't change having this little person in your life for anything in the world. Except maybe a little more sleep!

140 Characters

She crawls into bed, shutting her eyes
Praying the thoughts go away
They do not
She whispers
Why are you still here?
All I want is to dream

Project Marriage Challenge: The Bedroom

I've decided to link up today with Project Marriage Challenge and do a little work on my bedroom. IN the bedroom. My actual bedroom, not what YOU'RE thinking. ;)

I have been so slack in doing clean up in my room. Hubby and I just let things pile up in there, make messes, and just sort of leave it be. Once it is where it is it ends up staying there. I'm sure we're not the only ones who know how that goes.

And I'll admit one of the things that works in our home is having separate blankets. In our huge king-sized bed. Yes, one for him. Two for me. I'm bad like that, sorry. But he has a comforter, and I have two quilts. Light quilts. Nothing too heavy so I can layer. Or kick them all around. Or whatever works for me.

And for months now my husband has been saying his blanket is a mess. It's our old comforter from when we lived in NYC. Yes, if you're trying to do the math, that was back in 2005/6. Maybe even before then. I'm honestly not quite sure. It's got tears in it, and it's falling apart. I ordered a new one for him, but by the time I did that and it came it was getting warm and spring cleaning didn't include having the heaviest blanket on earth on our bed.



But we DID get a new blanket for our guest room. For when the grandparents were visiting. We just needed something new and fresh and clean and pretty. And we got this bright red comforter, that's lighter than the others we have, and it's reversible. Tan on the other side.

So after reading about this link-up I decided to go upstairs, get that old torn ratty blue one off the bed, change the sheets and get that pretty and bright red one on the bed. Immediately! Look how nice it looks!



Next? I tackle the to-read bookshelf (and the extra one next to it) that sit in the corner of the room. I love having it there, but I have so many books these days I'm reaching the floor and starting a new pile. And the bin next to the bookcase? More books. It's time to work on that area, and de-stress that corner of the room. Which is mine. My corner. Any wonder I can't fall asleep at night?



So if you're in the mood for some summer cleaning, and want to spruce up your bedroom a bit, head on over to Life Without Pink and link up here!

Wordless Wednesday: I caved!

Where to begin?

Imagine that writing down your worst memory will free you of it.

I have been asked to write down my worst memory.

What is it?

I don't know. There may be too many things. I have lived a relatively uneventful life, but these memories exist. They are there. Hidden away. Pulled out on an anniversary. A sad day. A moment where I'm missing someone I loved with my whole heart. What shall I share with you today?

Why does it haunt you?

Why wouldn't it? Doesn't everyone have those moments? The ones that we just can't seem to let go of? The ones that leave an imprint on our minds, our hearts. Our very beings?

What could you have done differently?

That's just it. Not a damned thing. Each and every time there was nothing I could have done. Life moved on. Nobody could have changed what happened. Life took hold and I grabbed on, held tight and stayed strong for the ride.

Write it down and let it go.

No - that's okay. I'll pass for today. I mean, I know it works. It truly does. Or it can. But for today, you can do that. Because you know what? I've done it already. Several times over, in fact. For each and every incident that makes me who I am. And each time, each and every SINGLE time, I feel better for a bit. I move forward just an inch or two. Or ten. But then I remember again. I remember sadness. I remember fear. And I remember loss. Lots and lots of loss.

* I mean no disrespect to the Write on Edge ladies with this post. Honestly, it was the best I could do with this prompt, as I am just drained this week(end) and not ready to tear open the memories I usually dive right into. I looked through my posts, trying to find the moments that made me ache the most, and there are so many. So many sad memories, so many painful recollections and they each have their place. So in a few months you'll hear from me as our nation remembers. And then when January comes you'll feel me again. And again in March. And the year goes on, the pain still flows, and the memories recycle themselves into post after post. When I need them to. So I have this written, and I'm not sure it counts so I am not sure if I should link up - but I'm sure either way I'll figure it out. And I thank them for bringing me home - in my head, and my heart. And I'll catch them all on Friday, I'm sure!

Stream of Consciousness: I'm still here

I seriously think I am getting a cold and it stinks. I woke up this morning (it is Saturday night as I type/write this) and I was coughing a bit and I am, as usual, pretty stuffy. My kiddo had a cold last week, so I hope I'm not really getting something. I want to go swimming tomorrow! I want to get back into our Sunday routine. It's been a few weeks. At least two, but maybe three, I guess it was three Sundays ago that we went, so it's three weeks. Anyway, I miss the water. Honest, I do.

I'm also in the mood to move. You know. Move my body. I'm here, but I don't move nearly as much as I would like, and I'm hoping that this week is a good kick-start to getting me on track to moving some more. Even if it is inside the house. That's what the Wii and Wii Fit are for, right? I'm #NIntendoEnthused and I should move it!

I like to move it - move it!

How memories flash at me now and then, like lyrics to a song, it's pretty funny how it all works. The mind. It's a brain dump, like this meme, and yet, it's all connected. A long-strawn (is that a word, I don't think it is but I will leave it anyway) drawn out tangent. And it keeps going and going, on and on. It's fun, but at night when I just want to go to sleep it's really quite the pain in the a$$. Seriously. Almost literally because if I lay there that long with various aches and pains and complaints my a$$ will eventually be among them. The complaints. Or the reasons I complain, that is.

Anyway - my five minutes are almost up and I wasn't in the mood to post today so I decided to do this tonight and can face the week freshly tomorrow. Or tomorrow night. Or whenever actually works for me.

I hope you all had a good weekend, and that you got to do whatever it was you wanted or had planned to do. And I hope I get to go swimming tomorrow. Just like I finally got the chocolate chip pancakes I wanted last weekend when we went to IHOP for dinner last night! Finally! Yum. Best. Dinner. Ever!

p.s. My "E" key still sucks.

Parallel lives ...

I had to leave immediately. I couldn't take another minute of the screaming.

The way that my parents used to talk to one another - that loving and beautiful relationship - it was so special. So important. So what I wanted to have in my life. So the way things were supposed to be.

A hand held as they crossed the street. A small smile across the room. Fingers resting, tapping, gently on a knee under the table.

But now? Now there were so many hurtful words. So much anger. So much heat. Not the good heat. Not the passionate kind. The one without emotion. There was so little love. It was so painful to listen to. My heart hurt to hear it. I couldn't take it much longer.

I wasn't sure which was worse. The screaming and yelling, or the silence. Oh, the silence.

I swore to myself that this would never be my life. I'd never have those glaring moments with my husband. I'd never think to myself 'what am I doing here?' and I'd never, ever EVER want to walk out that door.

But I just couldn't take it here. I couldn't take the way that they spoke to each other. Who were these people? Why would they behave that way in front of their children? Their beautiful daughter. Me. Why would they do this?

Who screams like this to communicate? Who talks that way to another human being? I felt so sad. So hurt to be exposed to such words. Such pain. Such lack of emotion. So little love.

So I stood up and walked to the door. Looked back behind me with tears in my eyes. A quick glance over my shoulder.

And then I realized I was already home.





This story is fiction. It was written in response to the Red Writing Hood prompt this week. Our first and last line were given to us and this is what I came up with. Critique welcomed.

Wordless Wednesday: Before and After

It was time.

Another night where I sat in my bed, trying to sleep. Willing myself to close my eyes and fall out. Longing for a peaceful transition from crawling into bed to waking up in the morning (or - who was I kidding? - during the night when I'd wake up to go to the bathroom).

I lay there, tears pooling in my eyes, thinking to myself how impossible this would be if I had to experience months of it. How would I ever get to sleep again?

Motherhood loomed before me. I thought to myself that once this baby came it would be even worse. I'd be on an erratic schedule and never know which end was up. I had no misconceptions that sleep would come easily to myself or my newborn, knowing full well that I would sleep when he or she did, assuming I could.

But what if I couldn't? This baby wasn't going to arrive for a few months. How could I last that long like this? How could I continue once the baby arrived? Would I be able to do it? I rolled to my side. Did I have to?

What was I going to do? I listened to my husband's deep breathing as he lay still beside me. I wanted to stifle him with a pillow. I didn't - but man, I totally wanted to. He was going to become a parent, too. Why wasn't he awake - tossing and turning with these fears? It was completely unfair. I was worse than restless, I was terrified. Wide-eyed. Hopeful and hopeless all at once.

I lay still, staring at the ceiling. A stream of light streamed in through the blinds as I tried to block it out. The tears fell down my face, streamed down my cheeks. Covered my pillow. I'd had enough. I needed help. And I needed it now.

With the purpose of transparency, I don't remember (now) exactly how long was left in my pregnancy at the time. But it honestly doesn't matter. One week, one month, less, more ... these are the moments in which I recognized what I needed.

And because this topic is so important to me, I am also using this post to link up with Shell at Things I Can't Say and her Pour Your Heart Out Meme tomorrow.

Random Musings by Post It Note ...

* I found these post-it stickies a long, LONG time ago, and have no recollection of where they came from, but I am trying to find out. I am only finally able to edit them like a human being, as I am using Picnik and it rocks. Totally.

Join me over at Only Parent Chronicles tomorrow (or today if you don't read this til Tuesday!) as I link up with her for Post-It Note Tuesday. Feel free to tell her I sent you. No credit needed, but I love sending mah peeps her way. Why - you ask? Well, she simply rocks. And that's enough of a reason, I can promise you that much. Fer realz.

Stream of Consciousness: Motherhood is me

I'm so tired today. My daughter has been waking up every night at somewhere between 1-2AM and I am losing it. She also has taken to crawling into bed with us (me, my side) now and then, so I knew something was brewing.

Last night she complained of her throat hurting, and we believed her. I gave her some Ibuprofen, which I don't normally do, but it was bedtime and I thought it would help with the pain. It did, and eventually she fell asleep. Fast asleep. But not me. I wasn't able to conk out. I've been on a reading tear lately and finding myself up til like 2 reading books I just have to finish. Even if I am loathing the end. In good and bad ways, of course.

So I finally started dozing and she starts crying in her sleep. First it's soft, calm, but restless. I go check on her, she's moving and moaning. I rub her back. She wakes up and has that "who are you and where am I and what's happening here?" look about her. The one where they stumble around in the dark, you know? And they don't realize you're there but are calling for you for hours while you battle to hold them in your arms and make everything better? Well, it was like that, but not entirely. Thank goodness. I got her to the bathroom, she went potty and I wound up carrying her from me sitting on the floor into her room. She's not light - my kid. But I am strong. I am a mom. I'm invincible, right?

We grabbed breakfast-ish food out this late AM, grilled cheese and OJ for her and for me. She also had pickles. Not a good idea, I guess. We did a quick errand or two, and ultimately ended up at Target. Good thing, because as we were pulling into the spot she decided she 'had yuckies,' and that - my good friends - was the end of that.

Motherhood. It's me. It's who I am. Who are you this week(end)?

Sabroso Saturday: Cheesy Chicken Spaghetti Casserole

Oh my heavens. Cheesy Chicken Spaghetti Casserole.

I've always heard about spaghetti pie, or spaghetti casseroles, but I have never made them. And then I found this recipe over at one of my new favorite recipe blogs: Mommy's Kitchen. And a huge thanks to my latest addiction, Pinterest, for helping me find her. Mmmn. Yum.

Her cheesy chicken spaghetti recipe looked so good I decided to tackle it with some tweaks of my own. And share it with you - dear readers - her version and mine.

You'll need:
* a box of spaghetti
* a small chunk of Velveeta (small size box, but you don't have to use all of this)
* shredded cheddar cheese (1 pkg, but you don't have to use it all)
* 1 can cream of chicken soup
* 2 c chicken broth
* oven roaster chicken

Now Mommy's Kitchen makes her own chicken and broth, but I'm the lazy mom, remember? I bought an oven roasted chicken and shredded about half of it, so I have the rest working in a White Chicken Chili in my crockpot. Double yum. I also skipped the various veggies that she included as my husband is not a fan of onions or peppers. But you can work with whatever you have or whatever your family enjoys.

So first, shred up that chicken. I used about half. It was plenty, but you can always use a little more - depending on how many people you're planning to feed. Boil up that spaghetti. You can use water, but I followed her tip and did it in the chicken broth, but that did leave me needing a little extra broth for the soup/Velveeta mixture later on. But if you buy a carton of broth you're good to go. You just splash a little extra in and you'll be all set.

Cube the Velveeta up. I used about 2/3 of the smaller sized package. Put that, the can of cream of chicken soup, and the extra chicken broth into a microwavable dish and warm for 5 minutes or so. Until cheese is mostly melted.

Combine spaghetti, chicken and sauce/cheese mixture and prepare in a baking dish. If you've made a decent amount, you may have enough left over to do two casseroles. I froze a smaller one for future use, and it looks so pretty!

Bake at 350* for about 15 minutes, take it out, toss on the shredded cheddar and bake for another 15 or so, until cheese is melted and golden brown. Or just til it looks really good. Which it will. It's cheese, right? Mmmn. Yum.

I served this with an attempt at avocado fries. It was not that successful, so I will not be sharing those details with you guys today. Maybe next time. Because if there is one thing I love it's avocado. And adding that to a meal that has cheese? Should be perfection. And may be. The next time I try!

Link up today with Latina on a Mission for this week's Sabroso (Tasty!) Saturday. She'd love to have you and you'll be glad you joined in.

Enjoy!

A Hot and Steamy Mess

"Emmalynn, are you here?"

"In here!"

"Em?"

"IN HERE!" I raised my voice over the music, grabbing a dishtowel as I reached for the radio. "IN THE KITCHEN!" I shouted again.

I watched him, his eyes taking me in. What I must have looked like. Dripping with sweat, flour everywhere. Hair in my eyes. A brand new me. It'd been a few weeks and I was entitled to it. Finally.

"Hey." I said. I shifted, dropping my hands to my hips. Flour be damned. No response. "Matt?"

"Uh."

"Why are you in my kitchen?"

"Right. To give you this." He held up a small box.

"What's that?"

"No clue. It came to my office, figured you'd know." He put it on the island. "There are more."

I nodded as I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and my face with the towel. "Thanks."

"What are you making?"

"Dinner." Was that a smirk? "Why?" He shrugged before he disappeared into the hallway, returning with two larger boxes. "That all?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks." I turned back to the stove. Started stirring. He didn't move. I looked back again, he was still standing there. Staring. Was he uncomfortable? I hoped so.

"You should watch that."

"What?" I looked up. "Thanks. I've got it."

"The pot," he pointed. "Whatever you're ..." I turned quickly, knocking over the flour. He slid beside me, catching it before it hit the floor.

"Thanks." We were inches apart now. Damn it. Damn him. I felt my breath still. "I'm good."

"I can see that," he whispered, putting the bag back on the counter.

"Thanks." I bit my lip. Why did I keep saying that? I glanced up, straight into his eyes. Felt the heat emanating between us. He touched my face, my cheek. Right above my mouth.

"What?" I cleared my throat.

"Flour. You've got flour here," he licked his thumb, lifting it up to press against my face gently.

"I'm a mess." I laughed. A nervous giggle.

He nodded. "I'll get out of your way." A whisper.

I reached for his arm. "Matt." My flour hand-print pressed against his skin. I wasn't ready for him to go. Not again. Not yet.

"Em." His breath caught. I could feel it. I saw his chest heave just a little.

Within moments we were pressed against one another. Against the wall. The counter. I backed away. He pulled me closer.

What am I doing? What am I doing? My mind raced ahead of my body. I couldn't tear my mouth from his. God, how I missed him. Don't do this, Em. You can't handle this. He shouldn't ... his hands up the back of my shirt. His fingers pressing into my skin. Clutching me to him. What was happening? So comfortable. So familiar. He tastes so good. My body fitting perfectly into his. This was all wrong. And yet, so ... not ...

"Matt." He stopped. We stood face to face. Eye to eye. "We shouldn't. I don't think." He nodded.

"Do you want to stop?" Our breath pulsing. Staccato in rhythm together.

"I -- I don't," I could barely get the words out.

"I don't want to either." His eyes flashed. Vibrant. Brilliant. Hot. I reached for him. He lifted me. Carried me. We headed towards the stairs. My arms around his neck. Hands in his hair. My legs around his waist. His body. We made our way up. Slowly. Carefully. Mouth upon mouth. Gasping at each step. Minimal sounds between us. Quietly. Gently. Savoring every second.

** For more on this story please feel free to click here and read it in chronological order. This piece is a reflection back for Em with more to come at a later time. I shared a bit more words and description than the prompt asked for, but it seemed to work and flow with their story for me. I hope you agree. But please tell me either way, as constructive criticism, as always, is welcomed. **

Sharing Summer Fun!

I'm linking up today with Shell to share some of my family's summer fun memories from the year. Though summer isn't nearly over yet, we've already been pretty busy, and the kiddo seemed to enjoy herself no matter what we've been up to!

And if you're a little confused about the "property of" I actually have another blog going on where I'm chronicling our outdoor times and trying to recap our summer a bit, as best we can. You can check it out over at Our Fifteen Minutes and feel free to say hey.

And definitely head on over (click the pretty button above) to link up your Summer Fun for a chance to win prizes from Ubisoft!

Dear Jacka$$ ...

** I honestly feel really horrible about using Shell's new and pretty PYHO button for this post, but I am going to do so, anyway. And I am also considering linking up for Throat Punch Thursday, as soon as I find the right button for it. Because if anyone needs a throat punch it's this asshole. **

Dear Jackass,

Thanks so much for ramming into our car. You know - the one that was sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE? Yeah, that's the one.

I'd like to replay my morning so far for you. See, my husband woke me up this morning, as he was leaving for work.

Him: I need you to wake up.
Me: NNnnuh.
Him: Someone hit the car.
Me: WHAT THE FLETCH?
Me, again: I'm up. I'm up.

So not only did you ruin my morning's slumber, but you fecked up our new car. Bastard.

See, we got a new vehicle a few weeks ago. A new-used one. But new for us, ya know? Right now we have three cars. I know - one driver, three cars - but it's temporary, I promise. Why am I explaining myself to you? Oh, I don't know. That's just the kind of girl I am. I like to be honest with people. Like them to know who they're dealing with.

Obviously you know nothing of this honesty I speak of. But I digress ...

So my husband goes out to leave for work and it appears that someone did a U-turn or something in front of our house and backed into OUR CAR!

WTF? Why would you do that?

Did you not recognize that there is a cul-de-sac like a few inches down the road? Or that street that intersects with ours, that you could have used to turn around on as there are NO CARS PARKED OVER THERE, EVER. It's an intersection. USE IT.

So listen, you know that you didn't just hit us, right? I mean, you hit us, but you also busted your taillight enough so that there is a huge chunk of it sitting on the ground on the street. I mean, it was RIGHT NEXT TO our car. We filed a police report but lucky fecker that you are, they can't tell anything from the chunk-o-light that was left behind.

My husband is really quite calm but not me. I want to find you. I really do. Whether you're the person who delivers those random newspapers that don't have much purpose, or someone else who visits our 'hood on occasion. I'm seriously contemplating calling the newspaper to let them know that we think it might be you. Yeah - you, you jackass. G-d, why are you looking at ME that way? I'm not the one who hit someone's car and ran! Oh, yes, regardless of whether it was the middle of the night or during the day, it's still a hit-and-run, schmuck. You should know better.

Who DOES that? I mean, seriously.

So this is just a note to say thank you. Yeah, thanks for ruining my day. For messing up our vehicle. And for just plain pissing me OFF.

Oh, yeah, and stay tuned - you fucker. Because karma is a bitch. And she's waiting for you. Somewhere. When you least expect her. She'll find you. And she'll pay you back.

Bastard.

Yours in the sweetest affection,

Meh ...

I'm bored. I can't figure out what to write so I'm just sort of sitting here saying to myself, should I actually write anything? Yeah, I suppose I should - but to write just for the sake of writing? I mean, what's there to say?

I actually do have some updates, I can bore you with. Hopefully you'll find them interesting and remember that eventually I'll have some more fun(ny?) stuff to say.

* We started the kiddo in soccer this past weekend. It was really cute. Hubby took Friday off, which was nice, and we went out for breakfast. It was way less rushed than a weekend morning tends to be, maybe because the rest of the world was at work? I don't know - something like that. Anyway, after that we signed her up for Saturdays, and then we went to a tumble gym, which she totally enjoyed. As did we. Sort of. After a while we were spent. My husband was ready to split, and I was trying to make a new friend. For me. It's weird how that all works, isn't it? Friends as an adult? It's a hot topic everywhere I look these days. Maybe I'll use that for a future blog post (PYHO, anyone?) or something. I'm just not ready to get into it right now.

* Soccer on Saturday was adorable. She's in a group with 3-4 yos. She's an older 4 in there, I think. But she was too cute. There are only three more sessions, as we jumped in halfway through to test it out, see if she likes it. I highly recommend that as an idea. Seriously good way that costs less money to test a sport or activity out for your child. If the business permits it, and why wouldn't they? Money's money if they have the open spots, right? I'd say - anyway. She enjoyed it and is looking forward to this week's session/lesson.

* We skipped swimming on Sunday. Not because we were so exhausted from soccer, but just because Sunday seemed to overwhelm us. The husband had a headache and was in bed early on Saturday night, and I was up late reading (more on that - stay tuned) til after two. Too late. Definitely. Anyway, we went to get lunch, did some grocery shopping, had a decent day til she had another somewhat meltdown. Damn, it was so hot out, I wanted to melt down, too. But we survived. For the most part.

* Now, back to that reading. About a month or so ago I picked up Sisterhood Everlasting, by Ann Brasheres. It's a fifth and final (I assume) book in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. And man. It was difficult. I started it and I was so excited. Beyond excited. And then I hit a turning point in the book - one that happened really early on - and I HATED it. And yet I kept reading. Well, not right away, but after I decided against throwing the book out the window, in the trash, or wherever else I could hide it from myself. How could she do this to the characters I loved so much? Regardless of it being set as adults, ten years later? It was horrible. I continued reading just because I was waiting and waiting for redemption. She had to change it. Make it better. Give me a reason. And she didn't. She just kept it going. It was hard to read, and I don't know why I did - but hey, I had to finish. THIS is why I don't do book series(es? How to make that plural - or not!). Awful. But she got what she wanted, I'm sure. Everyone's gonna be talking about this story. And at the same time, I can't talk about it without giving away spoilers. And although I totally WANT to, I respect an author's journey enough not to. Even though her nice, neat ending of wrapping it all up left me wanting. I didn't buy it. Seriously. Sorry, Ann. I don't know that I will move forward with any of your books. You've hurt me. Crushed me-my spirit some. Knocked the wind out of my sails. Kind of like when Jennifer Weiner blocked me on Twitter and though I was one of her biggest fans I now won't buy any of her future books or recommend her old ones anymore. That was more personal, and yet this book, this story, what happened to these characters - felt more real. Sorry.

I'm sorry - I just read that paragraph like 5x to try to find the right spot to break it into two paras and I can't do it. It may seem like a ramble, but I just can't do it. So I totally understand if you skimmed. If I were reading it I probably would have, as well.

OK, so that's that. I should fill this post up with some pictures of the wee one playing soccer or tumbling or walking on a "balance beam" on Friday/Saturday, but I haven't loaded them yet, so you'll have to stay tuned. Tomorrow could be a Wordless Wednesday after all.

** Thanks to Beyonce for being my background music as I typed. She motivates me always, so this was perfect! **

I'm not here today ...

But I'm going to tell you where I am. ;)

And Fridays are usually Red Dress Club days, but this week they asked us to link up our favorite Red Writing Hood post, and so I chose this one: Laugh and Cry. It's one of my most moving fiction stand-alone posts that I created specifically for TRDC. I hope you enjoy it.

And to catch up on some creative bloggers and their fave posts this week, head on over to The Red Dress Club now for more.

For one of the best things I've read this past week check out Shell's post sharing Thoughts On Breastfeeding by clicking here now.

And I poured MY heart out as well this week with an exceptionally open post, titled Sometimes I Can't Breathe. I thank those of you who have offered me incredible support in your comments. You all rock incredibly hard!

And lastly, today, while my friend Patty is at BlogHer and in San Diego, I head on over to her place to talk things I miss about NYC in my Ah, Sweet Memories post. Hope you'll head over and say hey, and leave Patty some love, as well. Even if she is in one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen right now without me (and lives in THE most beautiful one every single day! Hmph!).

So I hope you enjoy the links here, and the posts of my own I send you back to, as well. And I wish you all a wonderful weekend! Oh, and if you get the chance, check out the post before this one as I direct you to the facebook contest held where you can win a Knot Genie AND a $500 savings bond towards your child's education. Good luck to those who enter!

The Knot Genie ~ Product Review

I'm not one who tends to jump on a product review opportunity. It takes something that really catches my eye. Or something that I've heard of before. Or something - let's be honest here - that I really really want.

So when I saw the opportunity to receive the following product I will admit that it took me about two seconds to reach out and say, yes please. My daughter's hair is FINALLY growing. And if any of you recall my twitter explosion last summer, after she cut her own hair on one side, you'll know that I am thrilled it is growing the way it is.

That out of the way, there are days that she wakes up and has her own mini rats' nest on her head. Poor thing. We've tried the wide tooth combs that I know and love. And they work for nothing. We've tried skinny combs, and they're not good - not good at all.

Visiting my mom recently she showed me that a brush would be better. But I hate to use brushes on my kiddo, as they tear the hair out so quickly and what she has is so baby fine that it tears to shreds and ends up causing more knots. But I do it anyway. Or at least, I did.

And now, enter our lives, the Knot Genie.


Ta dah! The Knot Genie is my new best friend. My daughter is fascinated with it, as it really is so cute and easy to hold, and then, the amazing thing? No pain! No horrible and awful knots being pulled and tugged at to the point that my beautiful 4-year-old is about to lunge at me and grab the brush out of my hands (it's been close to being done, I'm sure).

And it makes her hair look longer when I brush it out. And healthier, as it's not being torn to shreds. And guess what? It works for me, too!

Right now the Knot Genie is running a really cool contest on Facebook where you can not only win your own Knot Genie (free for the first fifty entries!), but you can also win a $500 savings bond to add to your college education savings for your little one. Just click here to find out more on how to enter.

I highly recommend this product. If you can't tell, it has changed our lives in the short time that I've had it. It works on dry hair, wet hair. Tangles to no end hair. No more "Ows" ... seriously. Not a one! And today my kiddo has her hair in smooth and simple pigtails that I didn't have to use my fingers to separate and create. See?



Well done, Knot Genie. Well done!

** I received my very own Knot Genie for use and review and all opinions expressed here are truly based on my experience with this product. My daughter's hair is truly benefiting from this. I have not yet been but am to be compensated via Paypal for posting and sharing my thoughts and experience with this product. All opinions shared here are strictly my own.**

Sometimes I can't breathe

Any other moms or dads out there have this overwhelming frustration when your child is playing with something and makes a mess and it seems like it's taking over the entire house and/or your entire mind and focus? Like I have my 4-yo playing with "sparkles" - which, thank the good world that it wasn't glitter - was just some sparkly pieces that I gave her to glue to paper. And all of a sudden, I'm sitting here at the computer and I hear a splattering of the sparkles hit the floor.

Thing is, it could be easy enough to clean up, but I'm by no means Suzie homemaker (apologies to any Suzies out there who aren't and don't understand how the name got assigned to them and they have to bear that burden) ... so what SHOULD be easy enough to clean up isn't quite as simple as I had hoped. Sigh.

See, cats and dogs (just one, we're not that crazy yet) shed a lot. A lot. And I sweep up as often as I can, as often as I'm able to, as often as I have a minute to use my feet to somehow clean the floor quickly ... I'm being honest, ya know? ... and so the sparkles are amidst the cat hair and it's driving me batty and my heart is clenched and my heightened anxiety is all over the floor - so to speak.

Sigh. And so here I am. Trying to zone out and figuring, well, this is the perfect PYHO post for me. It's hilarious how life leads to blogging, right? It's a positive of the day-to-day. This blogging. This outlet. This way of remembering I'm not alone. Other moms and dads have the anxiety, the messes and the emotions of parenthood (is that even a word? For realz?) like I do.

So thanks for letting me pour my heart out. I'm kind of doing better right now, as this post was just written (the linky is tomorrow - but I'm posting right now cause it's real and on my mind and it's happening this minute) -- and MAN I used a lot of parenthesis in this post, didn't I? -- and dashes. I'm a big dash person.

Anyway, I feel better now. I've had some WhoNu cookies, and my kid is eating some now while watching Phineas & Ferb, and we have a playdate at 4pm, that I can't tell her about for another hour or so, but she'll be excited when I do. And we may even grab dinner out with friends. Ah, the joys of motherhood on the go! So thanks for listening, for not judging, and, if you're willing, for sharing the things about parenting that heighten your own anxiety and make you feel like crawling through the window or to the roof when they happen. I promise I won't judge and I'll laugh a little. But WITH you, not at you. Never AT you. Peace out.